If you’re thinking of having a child-free wedding, you’re not alone. Many people choose this option to ensure the best experience for their guests. I mean, let’s face it unless your wedding is planned with kids in mind, weddings aren’t a particularly child-friendly occasion.

Figuring out how to communicate this to your friends and family can be tricky, and sadly, no matter how sensitively you word it, there will always be someone who takes it personally or, expects you to make an exception for their kids.

Awkward huh?

From polite to not-so-polite, we’ve got you covered with these suggestions:

Polite way no.1:

The not-always failsafe - “Adults only please”.

This way, you’re not singling out anyone or offending anyone’s parenting choices. It’s important to be consistent and let everyone know that this rule applies to everyone, even close family members. You could also mention it in conversation if someone asks if they can bring their child.

Not-so-polite way no.1:

“No kids allowed - it’s our day, not a daycare”.

This approach may be effective, and the right people will laugh, but it’s definitely not the most tactful. Ultimately, you want to be respectful of others and the choices they make for their families. You don’t want to come across as rude or inconsiderate.

Polite way no.2:

Recommend child care. ‘‘Save the date and book the babysitter.’’

If you’re worried about having parents be able to attend without their children, suggest some childcare services that you trust. Or at least plant the seed so that people know if they want to come, they are going to need to book a babysitter.

Not-so-polite way no.2:

“We don’t want any kids ruining our wedding”.

Blunt, but no matter how you word it, telling someone that you don’t want their children around is never going to be well received so you might as well just sock it to them! Ok, maybe not… It’s important to be mindful of other people’s feelings, even though it’s your wedding.

Polite way no.3:

Make it more about them as your guests. “We want to party with you til the break of dawn .'‘

Instead of making it seem like you (the couple) don’t want kids at your wedding, make it more about you wanting them to kick back and have an adult-only night away from the kids. A lot of your friends will be dying for a night away sans kids!

Not-so-polite way no.3:

“No children allowed, we’re trying to party here”.

You could opt for the tongue-in-cheek approach and make a complete joke out of it but there is always the chance that someone will get offended and your little joke will fall flat on its face. Is it worth the risk?

Polite way no.4:

Manage people’s expectations.

If you’re really worried about upsetting someone, don’t be afraid to talk to them about it before you send the invites out so they know what to expect. Explain why you’ve chosen to have a child-free wedding and how important it is to you. Most people will understand and respect your decision.

Not-so-polite way no.4:

“We don’t want your kids there because they're annoying”.

Even if it’s true, this is probably not the best approach! The key is to try to deliver the message in a way that people respect and don’t take personally. I mean, we all know our kids are annoying but we don’t want anyone else to say it. right?

Polite way no.5:

‘‘Due to restrictions on numbers, we can’t accommodate any children.’’

This may well be true, but even if it’s not, you could play the numbers game to alleviate any weirdness over your choice to have a child-free wedding. This one is pretty hard to argue with.

Not-so polite way no.5:

‘‘NO you can’t bring your kids so don’t even ask’’

If that doesn’t do it then I don’t know what else will?! Be prepared to lose a few friends though!

Don’t feel bad about having a child-free celebration.

Having a child-free wedding is actually really common, so don’t feel bad. While it may seem daunting to tell people that their children aren’t invited, it’s all in communication. Also, accepting that no matter how clearly you deliver the message, there will always be someone who puts you in the awkward position of double-checking. Just stand your ground. It’s your wedding after all.